Graystone Presbyterian Church

"Disciples are those who intentionally arrange their lives around the single goal of being transformed into the likeness of Jesus.  That requires having a plan and sticking with it.  As Dallas Willard puts it, spiritual trying and spiritual training bring about vastly different outcomes."  (The Disciple-Making Church, p/66)

When I was in college, my campus ministers gave me a discipleship self-assessment tool.  It covered areas of spiritual disciplines, understanding of God, ability to articulate my faith, ability to discern God's work in the world and how to engage the world Christianly, service, giving, and a Christian identity.  I worked on this, and then we talked about my assessment together.  In the course of talking about it I realized I may have been a little to generous in some ways and a little too hard on my self in other ways.  We would then pray about what areas to focus on and agree to pay attention to those areas in future conversations and seek direction about what to specifically do to grow in those areas.  I realized during this time in my life that spiritual growth is not about knowing the right answers or even learning all I can about a Christian identity by reading lots of articles and books on the subject.  Spiritual growth comes through the hard work of allowing God to reveal to me in ever deeper ways the way in which I fall short of his call on my life and finding the specific grace to minister to this short fall.

For example, I realized that my identity was tied very closely to what I could do, what I could perform and how well I could perform it; rather than finding my value in being a son of God for whom Christ gave His life.  What was behind this was my fear that I would be rejected if I didn't measure up, and what was behind this was a rejection I felt when I was a young boy.  It did me absolutely no good to beat myself up or even just confess to God every time I knew I was performing and competing to feel good about myself.  What I needed to confess was that I did not trust God's love for me no matter what I did or didn't do.  My heart was hurt and because of that I found it particularly tempting to trust my performance and ability to "succeed" rather than to trust God's infinite mercy and grace.

So with the help of my mentors I was able to be more conscious of the embedded pattern to trust my performance, and to be reminded of God's amazing love.  I began to trust their love for me even when I would fall short, and moment by moment, day by day, week after week, God began to change and heal my heart, transforming me to receive more humbly God's grace and let go of my pattern of mistrust and performance. 

This is just an example, perhaps a deeper one, of what a difference having a spiritual friend and mentor can make in another person's life when he/she is willing to get to know you, to get specific, and to stay committed to a plan. 

Have you ever made a plan like this?  

Not too long ago, I met a man who each year was taking a look at one fruit of the Spirit.  It wasn't about reading and learning academically, although he engaged on this level at times; his plan was paying attention to the times when he failed to see that fruit exhibited and to explore more deeply why that was.  Then he would find the forgiveness and grace he needed specifically for this sin and weakness and hope to be more rooted in that grace the next day and next time he came into that situation. 

I believe this is the kind of examination and planning that God works in to bring about growth.  Is this something you have had or are open to in your life?   

One of the things Glenn McDonald talks about in the Disciple Making Church is that there are 6 relationships that are key to growing as a follower of Christ.  Our relationship with Jesus Christ as Lord and ourselves as Christ's deeply loved servant and disciple are foundational to all of the 6 discipling relationships.  Today I would like to focus on the relationship of a Spiritual mentor. 

As I look back over my life, I can see many people who have come along side of me and encouraged me and modeled for me a Christian life.  I can think back to youth directors who took me on mission trips where I was given the opportunity to share the gospel with children and witness God's call on their lives; I can think back to campus ministers who taught me and stretched me in my understanding of the lordship of Christ and living my faith in every are of my life; I can think of at least 3 pastors who spent individual time with me and gave me opportunities to lead and fail and learn and succeed; I can think of parents who modeled a life of commitment and dedication to spiritual disciplines like Bible reading and prayer and worship.  I can think of teachers and Sunday school teachers who taught me scripture and increased my Bible literacy in significant ways.

In all of these relationships, I know that I have grown the most in my relationship with God when someone has gotten to know me and spoken the truth to me in loving and gracious ways.  Someone motivated by love and someone I could therefore trust who would ask deeper questions of me.  "What are you struggling with?"  "How are you growing?"  "Where do you see God at work in your life?"  "How do you see God bearing fruit in your life?"  "Are you taking time to rest, listen, and be still and quiet before God?"

Not only do they ask the questions, I have given them permission to speak the truth to me.  They have said, "You seem distracted today, what's going on?"  "You did a great job, and it is great to see you growing in (and then they name just one of the many specific ways that I still need to grow.) 

Who are some of the people or relationships that have influenced you in your relationship with Christ?  What have they done that has impacted you?